Black, White, and Grey
by koji3
Summary: What would you do if you start seeing your best friend in ways you shouldn't? What if you suddenly did something you couldn't be forgiven for? What if your friends no longer trusted you? What if you were left alone? {one shot}


I just felt like writing this fic for some reason. Not one of my best but it wouldn't leave me alone.

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Summary: What would you do if you start seeing your best friend in ways you shouldn't? What if you suddenly did something you couldn't be forgiven for? What if your friends no longer trusted you? What if you were left alone? What if it turned out it wasn't your fault at all? (one-sided yugixjou){one shot}

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Help: if someone could come up with a better summary I would really appreciate it. Please. *puppy dog eyes*

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Warnings: contains rape, (forced yaoi,) and maybe minor violence.

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Blah = flashbacks

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Black, White, and Grey

Always there. Squirming, screaming, gasping.

" Stop! Jou please stop!"

Laughing softly I push you down and straddle your waist. You won't get away.

" No one can hear you. Scream all you want. You sound so good. I want you even more now."

Leaning down I kiss you. You struggle harder tears in your eyes.

" Please Jou. Please."

Go ahead and beg. I love the sound of your voice. The way you scream as I push against you. Such beautiful skin. So gold just like you. I must have it. Your innocents, your naiveté. They all belong to me now. As do you.

" So beautiful. Struggle all you want. You are mine."

Ripping your shirt I reveal your chest. Your beautiful chest. I can see little gold hairs all over. It's calling to me to touch it, kiss it, bite it. Smiling down at you I watch as you still struggle. Give up fool. I have already won.

Leaning forward I lick your chest. Your taste in my mouth. You taste of…raspberries. I don't know why I never noticed it before but you smelled just like raspberries as well. Trailing up I find your nipple. Its dark brown and I am reminded of your eyes. Your beautiful eyes. I first fell in love with your eyes when we met. Though I hadn't told you then. No I had waited and bided my time. I knew that soon you would be mine. Then _he_ had appeared. How dare he touch what was mine! 

I had been the one who had been there from the start. I had been the one you always trusted. The only one you let close enough to see the real you. The one who had helped you when no one else would! The one who had forgiven you when circumstances were beyond our control! And yet you dare go to _him_! Him when I have always been by your side! It is time you learned a lesson my golden god. No one but me will ever touch you again! You are mine. 

" You are mine."

Biting your nipple hard I watched in fascination as your skim slowly turned blue. Such a different color compared to your golden skin. Blue suits you well. I will make sure that next time you will have something blue on. Yes I like that idea.

But now I must hurry. I don't have enough time to waste staring at your body. Not that it isn't beautiful. When I first met you I had thought you must be a god, or surely an angel. Nothing else would suit your angelic features. Your golden hair. Your so bright it burns my eyes to look at you sometimes and yet I can't look away. You have entrapped me under your spell.

Just as you have entrapped the others. How many have touched your body before me?! How many have seen your chest?! How many have heard you scream!?

Tightening my grip on your arms I suck harder on your nipple. You cry out. Do you enjoy this? No matter. You are mine, that is all.

Moving slightly I try to reach your other nipple when you kick me in the leg. I should have known you would not let me take you without a fight. Laughing softly I warn you of the mistake you have just made. You shrink back. Your face red from tears. Your mouth open as you continue to beg me to stop.

Lifting my hand I slam it into your face. No one hits me. Not even you my precious angel. You stare at me in shock then. Realization coming to your face. I believe you finally realized that what was happening was real. This will teach you to let others have you. This will teach you for betraying me.

Reaching down I unzip your jeans. You start to scream again. Horror on your face. You had not thought I would go this far. You had not thought that I would ever do this to you. Just as I had once thought you would never let anyone touch you but me. Can't you see? You belong to me. Your too innocent to let anyone else touch you. I promised to protect you and I am. Even if the one I'm protecting you from is yourself. Especially if the one I'm protecting you from is your self. You obviously need someone to take care of you since you have no way of protecting yourself. Isn't the fact that you let someone soil you proof of that? But don't worry now. I shall wash away your taint and restore your innocence. 

You are meant to be worshipped from afar. Not stained by _his _dirty hands.

Your screaming now. Struggling, biting, crying. You beg me to stop, asking why as I release my erection and push into you. So tight. So warm. I knew you would feel this way when I went inside you. I feel your muscles clamp around mine and lose my fragile control. Pounding into you I grit my teeth. So good. You continue to scream as I come. Your screams arousing me more than I could have possibly thought. I have had many dreams of how it would be between the two of us, but never in my wildest dreams could I imagine you would far surpass the dreams. The only way it would be better was if you participated as well. But holding you down like this, hearing you scream, seeing your tears fall was pleasurable in itself. To bad this will be the only time we will have a chance to be like this again. 

Screaming, feeling pleasure everywhere, I finished. You were no longer screaming. Just crying your eyes sightless. Your beautiful brown eyes. I have often found myself drowning in those eyes. You look so beautiful now. Like a virgin sacrifice in prayer. Your head tilted up catching the sun. _My_ beautiful angel, _my _beautiful god. You are all mine. Yes this is right. Feeling myself become hard again I move inside you again. You don't move just stare sightlessly at the sky. Your beautiful face streaked with dried tears. You are at your most beautiful now. The last rays of the sun shine on your face now. You are truly your most beautiful now. And no one but me will ever be able to make you look this way again. Have you this way again. All mine.

Crushing my mouth to yours I watch fascinated as a single tear falls down your cheek then dries, your eyes never flicker once. This will teach you to say no to me my beautiful angel. Who else but me can truly take care of you? I see you understand now. Good.

No one says no to me.

Never forget that my innocent one. Never forget you belong to me and never say no to me again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

Yugi was crying.

Why was he crying?

Opening my eyes I looked around. Why did everything hurt so much?

" Yug?" God my throat felt raw. Was that really my voice? Why'd it sound so broken?

Gingerly I moved my body. Something was wrong. I don't know what but something was definitely wrong.

Seeing Yugi I tried to reach for him. He was huddling in a corner…naked? It was too dark to see but it looked like he was bleeding. What the hell?

" No!" he screamed.

Yug?

Why was he hiding from me? What the?

A bottle fell to the floor.

No.

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" Hey Jou I want to show you something."

Grinning at me he pulled me outside. The others were still sleeping. 

" Hold up Yug where are we going?"

" You'll see." Giving me his best puppy eyes I found myself moving after him. He seemed so excited. " Where here!" he shouted.

I don't know how long we were running but I wished we could hurry this up so I could go back to sleep. Holding back a yawn I looked around. We were on some hill surrounded by trees. Why'd he bring me here?

" Look Jou!" 

He was pointing behind the trees, I gasped.

It was so beautiful. I had never seen the sun rise before.

" Hey Jou!" Yugi was holding a wine bottle and two glasses. " Lets have some Jounouchi-kun."

" I don't know Yug? Should we really have alcohol so early in the morning? What about the others?"

" Jounouchi-kun please."

I could never resist his puppy eyes. Taking a glass I let him pour me some and took a drink…

No.

No!

No…

It all came back to me then. Yugi was screaming.

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" Stop! Jou please stop!" 

No. Clutching my head I tried to chase away the voices. I would never do that. Not to Yugi, and yet…I could still hear his voice screaming in my head.

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" Please Jou. Please."

Yugi was crying.

Dimly I heard someone coming.

How could I have done that to Yugi? Poor sweet innocent Yugi?

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" So beautiful. Struggle all you want. You are mine."

Was that really my voice? It sounded so cold.

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" You are mine."

I shuddered. Yugi's screams wouldn't leave. I had…

" Jou! Yugi! What's wrong? You guys were gone a long time. Everyone's worried. Jou…"

I had… 

" My God! What happened here!?"

I had raped Yugi.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

I was alone know. Even _he_ had left. Not that I could blame him. I had raped Yugi.

Shuddering I tried to block out his voice as he screamed. Everything was hazy. Nothing made sense anymore. Except one thing. I had raped Yugi. I could still hear his voice as he begged me to stop. Over and over again.

Everyone had left then. When they had found us it had been too late. To too late. 

Yugi.

It had taken then a while to calm Yugi down. I couldn't speak. It hurt too much. Everything hurt. He had told them then. How I had held him down and-

Oh God!

Trembling I looked at my hands. He had bandaged them up for me after they had found us. The bottle had broken in my hands. Our clothes had been beyond repair as well.

So much blood. I could still see the blood. Yug was covered with it. As was I.

What was I? What kind of monster did that? I…I…I…

Unwrapping the bandages I watched as the blood poured out. So red. Just like Yugi.

Digging my fingers into my palm I watched as more spilled out. I…I…I didn't deserve to live. I didn't deserve to die and get away from the pain either. I had done something unforgivable. I had betrayed my friend. I could never be forgiven for that. My pathetic life. I was worthless.

How many times had my father called me that? Now I knew it was true.

Yugi. All I could see was Yugi…

And Otogi's betrayed face.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

" How is he?" Yami asked.

They were all sitting in Dr.Chipiki's office. She was Jou's psychologist/therapist.

It had been 3 weeks since they had found Jou in his room surrounded by blood. He had been writing on the wall and muttering to himself over and over again. Occasionally crying then rubbing his hands together whenever he ran out of blood to write with. It hadn't been pretty. They had just wanted to know why Jou had done it, but by that time Jou had been beyond understanding. They had put him in a psychiatric ward to get him some help.

" No improvement. It seems as if the patient had gone through a heavily traumatic experience. As if he was trying to reject something that he couldn't believe happened, but was also replacing it with something else. We still haven't gotten him to talk. He just stares at the walls as if he was a doll. His expression always blank. Its like he's trapped himself into his mind. Had anything happened to him that might have caused him to react this way?"

Yami felt the familiar wave of anger and hatred fill him. He could still picture his light after they had found him. He hadn't been able to sleep without screaming in his dreams. He hadn't eaten very much and constantly started crying at the slightest thing. He had finally been able to let people touch him again without flinching. It still broke his heart to see his hikari like this. Damn that bastard Jou! How could he have done that?!

Sneaking a quick glance at Otogi Yami looked away. In a way Otogi had taken this the hardest of them all, excluding Yugi of course. They hadn't found out why until a week after the incident. Jou and him had been secretly going out for a year. No one had known that except Yugi who had accidentally walked in on them once, at least that's what Otogi said. They had made Yugi promise not to tell anyone because they hadn't wanted to jinx their relationship. So much for that. But if that was true it didn't make sense that Jou would want to rape Yugi. And why hadn't their link warned him what was happening? It-

" He raped our friend a couple of hours before. They were best friends." Malik said.

Otogi stiffened, but kept his head down. It still hurt him when someone said that, but sooner or later he would have to except it, Yami thought. Its not like it was something he could really deny or anything.

" Really." Dr. Chipiki looked perplexed. " We just finished testing him but from what we could find I highly doubt he raped anyone, at least not when you said he did."

What? They all looked at her confused.

Coughing a little Dr. Chipiki searched through her desk and pulled out a chart.

" Jounouchi Katsuya, 18 years old. When found he had sever wounds covering his body. It looks like he was hit in the face once as well. He was found to have been drugged hours before to the point of he could barely move, but was still sober enough to tell what was going on. We also found some semen in him. In simple terms all the signs point to him being raped. It happened around 6:45 on Friday February 15. Brutally I might add. It seems the person who had done it had wanted him to suffer."

Yami felt his blood go cold. That had been around the time they had found Yugi and Jou, but that couldn't be-

" From what we could find the semen belongs to one Yugi Mouto. Do you know him?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

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" Hey Jounouchi-kun I have something to tell you."

Gulping a little Yugi waited for Jou to turn around. He had led him to the school roof for this one purpose. It was know or never. Taking a deep breathe Yugi blurted it out.

" I love you Jounouchi-kun. I love you a lot. Will you go out with me?"

The shock on Jou's face was obvious. Yugi felt his heart start to race. This was it. He had finally confessed his feelings to him. He had spent years watching him. Always watching him from the side. Never letting his true feelings come out. Always waiting for his chance to tell him. Now was finally the time. He would no longer watch from the side anymore. His Golden God would be his.

" Yug…I…I'm sorry but I don't feel that way about ya. Ya know I'm with Otogi now. I'm sorry Yug." There was pain in his eyes as he said it.

" No its okay. I just wanted to tell you. Friends." He held out his hand. Looking relieved Jou grinned at him and took his hand.

" 'course. Best buds for life and all that."

" Yeah," Yugi said weakly, but Jou didn't notice. He had become very good at hiding his emotions after all. Jou had done that to him.

" Well I gotta go. Otogi made rice balls for me."

Yugi watched him as he walked away. His fist clenched, his face full of hatred. For so long he had watched Jou. Always watching. And yet someone dared to touch him! 

Yugi glared at Jou's back. How could Jou have let him _put his dirty hands on him. Touch him that way. No one was allowed to touch his Golden God like that. No one. And no one said no to him._

Watching Jou disappear behind the door Yugi smiled. No one.

~*~*Owari~*~*

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AN: in case anyone's wondering Yugi had gotten Jou drunk and convinced him that he had raped him instead of the other way around by screaming Jou stop over and over again. Since jou was drunk he couldn't recall clearly what happened but the voices stayed in his head making him think he had raped yugi. This also made jou go crazy. Though he was actually conscious enough to realize what was happening which was why he was struggling, but his mind rejected that yugi was the one doing it which helped push him over the edge even more. Also in the beginning yugi hadn't been this way, but after meeting jou something happened to him. He had had a crush on jou but after a while it had turned dark (especially when yugi walked in on him and Otogi together) changing yugi and pushing him to doing what he did in this story as you can see. I still have a lot of holes but I really needed to get this story out of my system. Maybe someday I'll come back and rewrite it better. Maybe…


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